A Life Too Short: The Tragedy of Robert Enke by Ronald Reng

A goalkeeper is trained all his life to show no signs of despair, disappointment or fear. That ability always to appear in control of things helped Robert to live on when depression took hold of him. And that gift became his fate when the illness led him to seek his own death. He concealed his intention so well that no-one could help him any longer.

 

On Tuesday 10 November 2009, he calls out ‘Hallo Ela!’ from the kitchen when the housekeeper arrives at 9 o’clock. He gives his second daughter, Leila, ten months old, a kiss on the forehead and says goodbye to Teresa, his wife. Robert checks the magnetic board in the kitchen and notes the errands that he needs to do. Then he’s out the door. He has two training sessions today and will be back at about half past six, as always. That was what he said to Teresa.

 

But there was no training arranged for this Tuesday.

 

Robert Enke’s suicide on that cool autumn evening brought together people who were close to him and people who had never heard his name before in that state where you feel raw inside, as if you’ve been torn apart.

 

Teresa requests a poem for her final birthday that she subsequently spends with Robert. He looks inquisitively at her to see if she actually means it. Robert rarely uses his valuable hands to write. Apart from his diary.

 

Ronald Reng relives Robert’s mind via the medium of his diary, focusing specifically on the day of the goalkeeper’s suicide and its lasting consequences.

 

Whilst being a footballer is a fantastic job, there cannot be many worse professions if you are sensitive, anxious or have a mental illness. The dressing room is not a working environment like an office; it’s closer to a playground. Everyone is jostling for position.

Robert’s chosen position was a goalkeeper, the place of those odd men who live in a very different psychological universe than the rest of the players on the field. They are the only individual in what is a team game. The other ten players can make numerous mistakes in a game, but if they score that last minute winner, they would go home the hero. However, it is role-reversal for a goalkeeper. You could play brilliantly for 89 minutes, but if you make a positional error, or if the ball moves, swerves or dips, it is your fault.

It is harder for goalkeepers than outfield players. They live in a world of negativity because in no other position is a mistake so costly. They are judged by how many errors they commit. There is the constant risk they could lose all confidence and the responsibility must weigh heavily.

Every weekend, professional sportsmen like him play out the dream that everything is achievable. More than most footballers, Robert gave the public the illusion that every obstacle could be overcome - similarly to the Rushden & Diamonds goalkeeper, Dale Roberts, who killed himself one year after Enke. Being misunderstood is part of a goalkeeper’s trade. You wouldn’t want to be a goalkeeper unless you were misunderstood.

At the age of 29, Robert had made it into the national side. He suffered depression four years earlier, whilst stranded in the second division in Spain. His first daughter Lara, had died in 2006 due to a heart birth defect, however Robert and his wife Teresa appeared to cope with their loss.

In 2009, outwardly at least, Robert had appeared to regain happiness. He had everything. A family with a daughter, as well as the prospect of being in goal for his country at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. However, in early August 2009 the depression returned, worse than ever.

The facts are regularly in the newspapers. More people die every day of depression-related suicide than in road accidents. Such figures don’t give us anything more than a vague idea that sadness is too hard for some people to bear.

What power must this illness have if it can draw a man like Robert Enke to the mistaken conclusion that death is the only solution? What darkness must have surrounded this sensitive person if he could no longer recognize what pain he would be inflicting on his loved ones with his death? And on the driver whose train he threw himself under that November evening? How do people live with depression, or even just with the knowledge that it could envelop them at any time? With the fear of fear? Robert wanted to provide those answers himself. It was he who wanted to write this book, not Ronald Reng.

In the diary that he kept during his depressive periods, the entries get more concise the more violently the illness affects him. Reng recalls that on the last page of Enke’s diary, there is a single sentence in huge letters. It was presumably supposed to be a reminder to Enke himself; but today it reads like a challenge to us all: “Don’t forget these days.”

Richardson: "The pressure is on Barney"

JAMES Richardson will have a debut to remember at this year’s PDC World Darts Championships at the Alexandra Palace.

The bricklayer from Rushden, Northamptonshire will face Dutchman Raymond Van Barneveld in his first television appearance.

Despite the occasion, Richardson doesn’t want to dwell on it too much.

“I’ve just got to get up there and get on with it,” he said.

Richardson, also known as ‘Ruthless’, watched the draw on Sky Sports at the Hungry Horse pub in Northampton.

“I just couldn’t believe it,” he said.

Five times World Darts Champion Van Barneveld has struggled to settle, since his move from the BDO in 2006. However, the 46 year-old will be looking to recapture his form following the disappointment at the recent Grand Slam of Darts in Wolverhampton.

Richardson believes that this is an ideal opportunity to produce an upset at the greatest event of the darts calendar.

“I’m on brilliant form at the minute and I’ve got nothing to lose.

 “I just want to go up there and show him what I can do.

 “The pressure is on Barney. If I can get up there and hit him hard in the opening set, it will definitely get him thinking.”

Richardson, who is ranked at 85 in the world, only joined the PDC circuit earlier this year, after success at the PDC Tour Card Qualifying School in January.

“This last year has been one hell of a dream. I never thought I would get to the World Championships,” he said.

PDC Tour events take place most weekends throughout the year, with Richardson reaching his first final in October.

“I had a good run in Germany which gave me a massive boost. Everything just clicked into place and I was beating all these top seeds.”

37 year-old Richardson is hoping to become a full-time darts player within the next couple of years.

“I did think I would make it as a professional one day.

“I used to watch the BDO Lakeside tournaments and try to beat the player’s score.

“It’s silly really, but I used to love doing it.”

At 500/1, Richardson is certainly an underdog for the title, however believes there could be a number of upsets in the opening games at the ‘Ally Pally’.

“I think that Nigel Heydon has a great chance in beating Adrian Lewis.

“Nigel has beaten him several times on the tour this year, but viewers won’t be expecting him to win.”

Similar to Van Barneveld, Lewis has struggled with his form since his victory at the Alexandra Palace last year.

Phil Taylor is once again the favourite to add to his 15 World-titles, and Richardson agrees with the bookmakers suggestions.

“You would be foolish to look past Phil winning it again. His scoring this year has been unbelievable.

“If all goes to plan, I will meet him in the quarter finals, but I will just be taking each game as it comes.”

Richardson faces Van Barneveld on Sunday December 18 at around 10pm.

Dale Roberts 1986-2010

In most cases, suicide is a solitary event and yet it has often far-reaching repercussions for many others. It is rather like throwing a stone into a pond; the ripples spread and spread.                         ALISON WERTHEIMER, A Special Scar

Many consider suicide a crime. A philosophical problem. When your principles seem to be demanding suicide, clearly it’s time to check your premises.

Imagine being a goalkeeper; standing between the goalposts prior to a penalty kick. You are just one 12 yard shot away from saving your team from conceding a goal. In football, one goal could make or break your season. Some say it is a matter of life or death.

As a young boy growing up, football meant everything to me. I would train for two hours on a Saturday morning, go to watch Rushden & Diamonds home or away in the afternoon, then play for my local side on a Sunday morning. Without fail, week in, week out, this would be the routine. Thousands of children up and down the country will be following a similar pattern. These people do it for the love of the game, money not being an issue.

Let’s take Dale Roberts. His childhood would have been comparable. Growing up in a small town in County Durham, he played for his local side before moving onto Sunderland and Middlesbrough. Dale just wanted to play football.

He didn’t care about the multi-million stars in the Premier League. He didn’t care about the celebrity lifestyle. He was the most down to Earth young man that you would ever hope to meet.

How many footballers would you see drinking and chatting with the fans after every game, win or lose? Very few. Dale was in that minority. The rapport between Dale and the Rushden & Diamonds faithful was simply incredible. He had only originally joined the club on a short loan spell, playing 13 games in the process. He was instantly a fans favourite.

Dale arrived at Nene Park during a tough period. It was a downward spiral with nothing worth remembering on or off the pitch. He lifted the supporters, the players and the back-room staff. Things were looking up again.

If you saw him in the street, he would stop what he was doing and chat to you. If you asked him for his autograph, he would stop what he was doing and sign for you. I have never known anyone have such an influence in lifting the spirit of a football club like Dale did at Rushden.

In May 2010, it was revealed that the fiancé of Dale Roberts had been having an affair with Paul Terry, brother of John. This could have left the supporters divided as both had been influential figures during the club’s season. It didn’t though. The persona of Dale was all that mattered and a ‘Team Roberts’ group was immediately set-up in support.

Single-handedly, Dale had saved efforts on goal, time and time again during his short career. Just over six months after the affair was revealed, Dale took his own life.

If there was one thing I could save – it would be Dale.

At just 24 years of age, Dale had committed that crime. He became that philosophical problem.

Dale was ‘messed up’. He admitted it himself, but there was nothing anyone could do.

Football doesn’t mean everything to me anymore. It is much more important than that. We must remember the people that make football what it is.

People believe that the death of Dale was the reason for the demise of Rushden & Diamonds. I can only agree with this. Dale was the life and soul of the club. Rushden & Diamonds was Dale Roberts. Dale Roberts was Rushden & Diamonds.

They belong together. Dale was our diamond.

Manchester City’s Adam Johnson had known Dale from the age of 11. They did everything together and had been to Los Angeles just months before his death.

"It makes you appreciate everything in life more, not just football. I've talked since with other friends about how life just goes like that,” Johnson said.

Dale may have passed, but his legacy lives on.  The Dale Roberts Memorial Fund has been formed – with Johnson as Ambassador.

It is hard to even begin to imagine what Dale was going through, and something that people shouldn’t have to consider. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I will not be alone in hoping that other youngsters and professionals take note of the life of Dale Roberts, albeit only a short one.

Almost one year on, I still remember the day I heard the news of Dale’s passing like it was yesterday. I still remember the rivalry between Rushden and Kettering Town being forgotten momentarily.

We must remember that there are more important things in life than football.

There’s only one Dale Roberts. Never forgotten.

Devon Petersen

Some say it is just a hobby. After all, you’re only throwing a 4-inch missile at an 18-inch circle of stuffed boar bristles. For others, it is much more important than that.

The whole of South Africa was on its feet with vuvuzelas, as Siphiwe Tshabalala scored against Mexico in the opening game of last year’s World Cup Finals. If Oscar Pistorius achieves a gold medal at next year’s Olympic Games, the entire nation will be on its feet again.

Imagine having a whole country’s expectations on your shoulders. Imagine the pressure of being able to toss tungsten better than anyone else in the world. Imagine the atmosphere as thousands of people are drunkenly dancing to Chase the Sun by Planet Funk.

In many sports, if you haven’t been scouted by your late teens, then you might as well give up. At 18 years of age, Devon Petersen was just starting.  Due to the late nights and excessive amounts of alcohol that is stereotypical in darts, a request from Petersen’s parents was that he didn’t play until he had finished his schooling.

Six years on, Petersen is undoubtedly the best darts player from South Africa.

“My father told me that I was quite good and after that there was no stopping me,” the 24 year old said. “He told me to never fear losing.”

It has been a year to remember for the former banking consultant from Mitchell's Plain. After leaving behind his family in South Africa, Petersen now resides in Brighouse in order to follow his dream of becoming one of the best darts players in the world.

“I will be World Champion,” says Petersen who has gone from strength to strength. “The only person that stops you from reaching your goals is yourself. You only have one life to live - so live it.”

Petersen, who became the first professional darts player from Africa, reveals that despite the ambition, never thought he would be able to achieve it.

“Just playing in the PDC [Professional Darts Corporation] was a dream for me,” he said. “I have shown that what you dream can become a reality.”

The South African suffered mixed fortunes during his debut at the Alexandra Palace for the 2011 PDC World Darts Championships last December. After a preliminary round victory against Norman Madhoo from Guyana, Petersen succumbed to a three sets to one defeat at the hands of Jamie Caven in the first round.

It has certainly been a rollercoaster ride for young Petersen. In September, he retained the South African Open to qualify for the 2012 PDC World Darts Championships.

“It’s a great feeling to be back there at the Alexandra Palace and to play on the biggest stage of darts,” he said.

Currently ranked 116 in the world, Petersen has aspirations of improving on his performance from last year at the ‘Ally Pally’.

“I’d like to better that achievement. It could have been so much different if I hit my doubles. This year I’d like to play after Christmas, which would be in the second or third round. Anything after the third round would be a bonus for me.”

Petersen also believes that the experience he has gained in the past year is vital for his future in the sport. “I’ve learnt that confidence is a big factor in the game. It’s about strategy; it’s about pacing yourself, knowing what to do against what players and how to approach the game,” he said. “I’ve got a good recipe for next year.”

In a sport that has been dominated by Phil Taylor for the last 20 years, Petersen finds it hard to admire anyone other than ‘The Power’ for his achievements. He admits that on the pro-circuit, you appreciate people for reasons other than just their achievements.

“You look up to players based on personality, their approach to the game and on the way they conduct themselves,” he said. “Players like Justin Pipe, Simon Whitlock, Wes Newton and Barrie Bates.”

“There are obviously clicks, like the Dutch guys tend to stick together. There’s no bad vibes though. It’s a close-knit community more than anything else.”

It is very much a case of ‘Contender, ready!’ as referee John Anderson used to say on the TV game show Gladiators. Earlier this year, Petersen, nicknamed ‘The Spartan’, became part of a new sponsorship quadruplet with Unicorn. ‘The Contenders’ as they are known, are all professionals establishing their careers in darts that are likely to surprise many with their skill, dedication and 'can do' enthusiasm.

“My manager approached them [Unicorn] and they said they would like to sign me,” Petersen said. “Getting the support of Unicorn, the brand of champions, just makes the gamble worthwhile.”

The South African role-model understands that because of social media, the pressure and expectations on him have increased. “Due to Facebook and all other communications, people begin to follow you intensely and you know they are looking for results,” he said. “At the end of the day, all I can do is to try my best.”

Despite being a country commonly recognised for Cricket and Rugby Union, Petersen believes that darts in South Africa is on the rise. “It’s a sleeping giant kind of thing, he said following the recent launch of the South African Professional Darts Organisation.

“There’s definitely a few playing striving hard to perfect their game and hopefully come over here. There will be a few South African’s coming over for Q-School next year.”

Petersen became one of the inaugural winners of a PDC Pro-Tour Card in January 2011 at Q-School – the event that enabled him to class himself as a professional.

Petersen’s move to West Yorkshire was in order to practise with youngster, Joe Cullen. Tipped as ‘the next big thing’, Petersen agrees that Cullen could be a future star. “He definitely has the potential to become a big player. He just needs to utilise what he has,” he said. “It’s whether he has the potential to use his own potential.”

Since Barry Hearn’s acquisition of a majority shareholding in the Professional Darts Corporation in 2001, the gap between the PDC and the BDO (British Darts Organisation) has become increasingly apparent. With a number of tournaments taking place almost every weekend throughout the year, Petersen believes that Hearn has had a major influence in the PDC circuit.

“He has definitely taken darts to what it is today. He’s been a big help.  There’s very little that you can change - Everything is perfect as it is,” Petersen said.

The BDO turned down an offer of £2milion from Hearn in 2010 in an attempt to ‘invest in the future of darts’. Petersen reveals: “It’s [BDO] definitely a lower league to the PDC. You can’t compare it really. It’s like comparing chalk to cheese.”

In 2009, the BDO made a turnover of £16,000, whereas the PDC made a profit of over £1m.

Since the introduction of the Grand Slam of Darts in 2007, British television broadcasts no fewer than six events throughout a year. “It’s almost a perfectly oiled engine,” Petersen said.

Petersen believes he has what it takes to become a Top 10 player within the next couple of years. If the rate of progress continues at a similar rate to the last six years, there is no reason why his next ambitions shouldn’t also become a reality.

“£10 hero shatters Arsenal”

Modern day football has been marred in controversy regarding goal-line technology and money involved in the game. However, a Northampton Town player from the famous FA Cup run of 1957/58 believes that ‘the football was better then.’

Local-boy Bobby Tebbutt, now 76, was an unknown to many before his exploits at the County Ground. He was signed by Cobblers manager Dave Smith for just £10 from Irchester United at the age of 21, following a number of successful trials.

The Cobblers had earned themselves an attractive third round draw with First Division side Arsenal in the FA Cup. On paper, they were a far superior side than the Northampton team, which Tebbutt was lurking on the fringes of - on the pitch, however, it was a totally different story.

Just three days prior to the clash with the Gunners, Alan Woan was struck down with food poisoning, resulting in the call up for Tebbutt.

“It was a chance I never expected,” said Tebbutt whilst reminiscing through an old scrapbook he had kept of his injury-interrupted playing days. “I was nervous.”

It took Tebbutt just six minutes to open the scoring, in what was expected to be the biggest game he would ever play in.

“I don’t remember much about it. Everyone was around me and patting me on the back and my head,” Tebbutt said regarding ‘that goal’ in just his second game for the Cobblers first team.

Tebbutt admits that the celebrations after a goal doesn’t compare to that of the multi-million earning Premier League stars of today.

“We didn’t have all 11 players in a pile or sliding across on your knees. One of these days, somebody’s going to slide across the grass on their knees, there’s going to be something sticking out that ground and they’re going to do themselves a terrible injury. It will probably end their career. It will happen.”

Tebbutt, himself, knows full well the damage a career ending injury can have. At the age of 24, in a Division Four fixture against Walsall, an unfortunate challenge led to Tebbutt spending 16 months out of action with a broken leg. “It ended my professional career,” said Tebbutt, who revealed he has had four new hips, a new right knee, four heart attacks and five stents fitted. Some-what living up to his nickname of ‘Bionic Bob’.

Following his side’s 3-1 triumph against the Gunners, it would be hard to top that. However, Liverpool away was result of the fourth round draw.

Despite losing 3-1 at Anfield, Tebbutt admitted it was ‘one of the highlights of my career.’

“It had been snowing. They tried so hard to get the game on. We travelled to Southsea about a week before the game,” Tebbutt said as he pointed to a picture of the Northampton Team having a snowball fight with the manager. “You wouldn’t see that today.”

After his release from the Cobblers, Tebbutt stayed local and in 1963 was playing for Kettering Town. The Poppies proved to also be the home of another memorable FA Cup season for the Northamptonshire village boy.

“We were against Grantham. I got married at mid-day and then played football at 3 o’clock.”

Tebbutt’s wife of 47 years, Nancy, was sitting nearby and heard the topic in question. “I wasn’t happy,

but I knew he wouldn’t listen to me,” she joked.

”She said I wasn’t going to play, but people talked her round,” Tebbutt said. “Most people that were at the wedding came and watched me in the afternoon.”

Tebbutt continued his exploits in the FA Cup by scoring the opening goal. Some say the FA Cup is losing its magic. With the effect it had on Bobby Tebbutt, it is hard to imagine anyone with a similar story who is a modern-day footballer.

Ashes to Ashes – Have England’s cricketers gone from world beaters to World Cup flops?

Following the disappointment of the football world cup last year, England’s cricketers were gifted the ideal opportunity to increase the claim that cricket is ‘the nations sport’.

The success of the Ashes in Australia in the winter will have improved that cause. However, just two months later, this is followed with a defeat to World Cup minnows, Ireland. Who?

In contrast, it is like the national football team losing to San Marino – or even our Bobsleigh team losing to Jamaica.

It doesn’t feel that England have the ability to dominate at any sport - even when we invented them.

It was easy to recognise that Kevin O’Brien single-handedly took England apart with the bat. However, as more and more countries pick up on what Andrew Strauss’ side couldn’t deal with, the country appear to be in for a slogging session.

In the past, Ireland’s big cricket matches were against countries such as Kenya, in an attempt to break into the top 10 in the world. Top 10 in the world sounds promising – but the harsh reality for the Irish is that only 13 countries play International Cricket.

This isn’t the first time we’ve seen it though. Win the Rugby Union World Cup in 2003 – nothing since. Win the football World Cup in 1966 – let’s not even go there.

How a team can produce remarkable performances against World Cup contenders South Africa and India, sandwiching the disappointment against Ireland is unanswerable.

On their day, the nation’s cricketers are the best in the world and the performances in Australia in the winter prove that. However, similarly to the football team, when a World Cup is taking place, we never seem to produce enough organisation during the biggest event in the respective sports.

Sepp Blatter and the 2022 Qatar World Cup

FIFA President Sepp Blatter has caused controversy again, this time by hinting that the 2022 World Cup Finals in Qatar could be staged in the winter, to avoid the searing temperatures of the Middle East. The health risks of the 50 degrees plus temperatures in June and July were seemingly ignored by the committee members, despite being mentioned in the official evaluation reports.

This would force the Premier League and other European leagues to abandon the traditional August to May schedule that we have grown to know and love for years, possibly for the long term.

There is nothing in FIFA’s regulations that state the World Cup must be held in June and July, however due to them being the hottest two months of the year in Qatar, it will have to be considered.

Love him or loathe him, Blackpool manager Ian Holloway once again made the headlines with his opinion on things. After expressing his opinions on Blatter, Holloway then took a comical view of things. “You wait till I get home and tell my turkeys ‘don’t worry it ain’t Christmas, we’re moving it. I’ve had a word with FIFA and we’re gonna move Christmas.”

This winter proposal is not the only thing that has been mentioned referring to the Qatar World Cup of 2022. The same day, Blatter also mentioned his views on the possibility of staging some matches in neighbouring countries – something which had previously not been suggested. It was revealed that the 74 year old had met with officials from Oman, Bahrain and Kuwait during a visit to the region.

The FIFA President also angered gay rights groups in the same week by suggesting gay fans travelling to Qatar for the 2022 World Cup should ”refrain from any sexual activities”.

Gay groups are worried about the welcome that will be received by homosexual fans, with the Gay Football Supporter's Network saying at the time of Fifa's decision: “We do not feel the World Cup should be held in any country that abuses and disregards the basic human rights of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender people.”

Blatter insists however that there is ‘too much concern over a competition that is to be held in 12 years time.’